As human beings, we are all driven by our emotions. There are even times when we defy logic because of our emotions. We know the difference between doing what is right and doing what is wrong. Yet, sometimes, we fall victim to our emotions.
One good example is rudeness or incivility. When we feel offended or disrespected, our emotions can get the best of us. During these trying times, if you’re not patient or understanding enough, it can be a challenge to remain positive.
The least one could do is to ignore, avoid or brush off the situation. However, a feeling of resentment can be a result of the experience.
What does this tell us?
Rudeness is not a trait people are attracted to. You don’t even need science to back it up. Your own personal emotion and experience is enough proof. But to give you a better understanding, we’ll cite studies, researches and statistics that tell the effects of rudeness.
In business, being rude can have a detrimental effect not just to you but to the organization. If you have a toxic coworker or a bad boss, you know this. However, the effects of rudeness can be much worse than you think.
The Cost of Rudeness
Let’s begin with how often or how much people have been treated in an uncivil manner. A poll by the Harvard Business Review showed that 98% of employees have experienced bad conducts.
A more shocking statistic from 2011 reported that 50% of employees experienced being treated in an uncivil way at least once a week. There are different forms of rudeness and rudeness can also come in a subtle form such as teasing in a way that can hurt.
Rudeness is detrimental not only to the receiver but also to the one doing the act. Have you ever seen a rude person with massive success? If there are, how often does it happen? Also, how long have they kept their success?
If you are rude, whether as an employer or an employee, you won’t attract opportunities. Worse, if you are rude, you push opportunities away. One may have some level of success while being rude but success doesn’t last to one who doesn’t know how to deal with people.
If it does, it’s a rare and still an undesirable case. If you are rude or if you possess a bad attitude, you are vulnerable to consequences from being that way.
Here are results from a poll of The Harvard Business Review coming from 800 managers and employees across 17 industries:
- 48% decreased their work effort on purpose.
- 47% decreased their time spent at work on purpose.
- 38% decreased the quality of their work on purpose.
- 80% lost work time because of thinking about the incident.
- 63% wasted work time because of avoiding the offender.
- 66% reported that their performance got worse.
- 78% reported that their loyalty to the organization declined.
- 12% stated that they left their job because of being treated in an uncivil manner.
- 25% admitted that they took their frustrations out on the customers.
Rudeness creates a toxic working environment for the employees. Rudeness even creates a ripple effect. According to The Harvard Business Review, “people are less likely to buy from a company with an employee they perceive as rude, even if the rudeness isn’t directed at them.”
These are the effects of rudeness when it is part of the company culture:
- Decrease in productivity
- Decrease in sales
- Deterioration of creativity
- Deterioration of commitment to the company
How not to be Rude
Becoming a successful leader requires excellent emotional intelligence. In fact, success in general, requires good emotional and psychological understanding. Tony Robbins has this to say about success, “I’ve found that it’s (success is) 80% psychology and 20% skills”.
If you don’t know how to take charge of your emotions, your emotions are in charge of you. Again, with leading people, understanding emotions and knowledge in psychology is crucial.
This is because you also develop desirable traits and important leadership skills as you improve your emotional intelligence. If you believe you possess undesirable traits such as being rude, read books and research about leadership and personality development.
Here are excellent books to help you out with refining your attitude:
- Secrets of the Millionaire Mind – Harv Eker
- How to Win Friends and Influence People – Dale Carnegie
- A New Earth – Eckhart Tolle
For personality development, these are but some of many authors that can help you out:
- John Maxwell
- Tony Robbins
- Simon Sinek
- Brian Tracy
- Dale Carnegie
The level of emotional intelligence is one of the major differences between successful and unsuccessful people. True leaders are kind and empathetic because they are smart and wise enough to understand that conflict can be avoided with knowledge and acting upon it.
True leaders are at the top because they deserve it. If you are a rude leader, people you manage are wanting you to be gone or replaced. If you have a rude leader, you might have considered or made a report against your manager.
If employees were given the chance to impeach or replace rude leaders, they would do it. If not, they are the ones to leave. According to a study conducted by Gallup, 50% of employees from the US left their job to get away from their managers.
The trouble with adults is that we think we know everything. That we no longer have to study about emotions and develop ourselves. However, if you are not where you want to be, that implies that you do lack some knowledge.
In life, you are your own savior. People, books and researching can help you out but the one that can change you is you. Strive to have an open mind and the abundance of the universe will be available to you.
If you know the effects of rudeness, don’t welcome it into your life. If you can change yourself, you can then help transform others as well.